Harry Potter and the Unbrushable Mullet
by Fishy-Bubbles
Summary: What will Harry do when Ron's wand accidentally curses his hair into a mullet  especially just before the Yule Ball is about to start? Starring Ron's faulty wand, Hermione's magically re enforced hairbrush and Harry's new Unbrushable Mullet!
1. Chapter 1

OK, so this is a bit of a fun one-shot (maybe, depending on the interest). One of my friends thought it up in our History lesson, and I agreed to have a go at writing it, so here it is! I hope you have as much fun reading it, as I had writing it, as this is so random! All I ask is that you review, because even I know that I can go overboard sometimes!

It was the night of the Yule Ball. Both Harry and Ron were quite nervous about the upcoming night; Harry even more so because of the Champion's Opening Dance. He still felt as if he hadn't quite got the steps under control, and felt far from ready to 'boogie' in-front of his entire school, teachers included.

Ron and Harry were taking turns checking their reflections in Neville's hand mirror. They both wanted to look their best tonight. As Harry re-adjusted his glasses with the mirror's aid, Ron was looking for his bow-tie under his bed. He had somehow managed to misplace it again; that morning Ron had purposely placed it upon his bedside table so he wouldn't lose it.

It was when he was rummaging around under his four-poster that Ron heard his wand give a sharp _crack _beside him and Harry yell out.

'Harry, what is it?' asked Ron as he scrambled up from under the bed. He didn't pick up his wand as he passed it on the floor. From the way he could see Harry glaring at it, Ron thought it best to let it be.

'It was your wand, Ron; your wand just fired a spell at me! Well not at me particularly, but at the mirror, and it rebounded and hit me instead!' said Harry furiously. Had he not told Ron a million times before that he needed a new wand?

'What?' asked Ron dumbly. 'Harry, my wand couldn't have done anything to you. I wasn't even holding it!'

'Yeah, well it did,' muttered Harry, rubbing the top of his forehead. 'And it hurt, too! Can't you keep that thing under control?'

But Ron didn't reply. He was too busy looking at Harry's head where the curse had hit him.

'Ron? Ron, what are you looking at?'

Again, Ron didn't answer. Instead he pointed at Harry's head, his mouth forming a gaping hole. Now fearing the worst, Harry grabbed Neville's hand mirror from where he had dropped it on the floor. Almost instantly, his jaw dropped as he saw his reflection.

Harry's hair was – as strange as it sounded – now a dark-coloured mullet.

'But, Ron, how…?' Ron shook his head. He had no idea how his wand could have done this of its own accord. He was still staring at Harry's hair. He now looked rather comical – quite like a boy from the 80's in a wizard's modern dress robes. The whole effect was quite astounding.

Ron cleared his throat. 'I'll get Hermione, shall I?' Harry nodded. If anyone knew how to get him out of this one, it would be Hermione.

Still staring at Harry's instant mane of hair, Ron backed out of the dormitory's door and down the spiral staircase.

A few minutes later, Harry could hear two sets of footsteps hurrying up the steps.

Breathless and red in the face from running in her high-heels, Hermione appeared in the doorway. Still clutching a stitch in her ribs, Hermione didn't immediately realise what the problem was. Rounding on Ron (who was now standing next to Harry) for calling her up there for nothing, she suddenly caught sight of Harry's hair.

'Oh, Harry, what on earth happened?' asked Hermione, surprised. Harry saw the corner of her mouth starting to twitch.

'This isn't funny, Hermione!' snapped Harry, frustrated. Did both of them think that he had asked for this mullet?

'Oh, no, Harry, of course not,' said Hermione, fighting to keep her voice even, 'no, it isn't. Err, just give me a minute to think of a counter spell.' Hermione racked her brains for a spell that could reverse hair-damage, as Harry restlessly paced the room. Meanwhile, Ron had pushed past Hermione and was sitting on his four-poster bed, still gaping at Harry.

'OK, Harry, come here. I don't know if this will work, but I might as well try it…'

Half-an-hour later, neither Harry's hair or temper had improved. Hermione was quickly running out of spells, and Ron wasn't helping at all by laughing at the pair of them.

'C'mon Hermione, something has to work,' said Harry uncertainly through gritted teeth. Her last spell hadn't had any more effect than any of the others.

'I'm sorry, Harry, I don't know what else to do,' confessed a baffled Hermione. 'I can't transfigure it, reverse it, charm it, vanish it… ' she said, her sentence trailing off into thoughtful silence.

'Of course!' exclaimed Hermione suddenly, making both Ron and Harry jump. 'Why didn't I think of it before?!' And with that, Hermione dashed out or the room leaving the other two staring at the spot where she had been.

'Why does she always do that?' muttered Ron to Harry, who shrugged.

Hermione returned a minute later holding a tatty-looking hairbrush triumphantly in her hand. Both Harry and Ron looked at her blankly as she stepped into the room.

'Erm, Hermione, are you gonna try and reverse the spell with a _hairbrush_?' asked Ron incredulously. 'This is crazy, even for you!'

Hermione ignored Ron and crossed the room. Standing behind Harry, she started to attack his hair – somewhat violently – with the old hairbrush. Harry had opened his mouth to yell in pain, but found that he didn't need to. Hermione's brush had broken cleanly in two.

'Hermione!'

'Hmmm…' thought Hermione. 'Just as I thought. There's something seriously wrong with your hair, Harry. I can't even brush it; and this is my magically-reinforced hairbrush! It can brush even the wildest hair into place…' said Hermione, holding up the broken pieces in her hand.

'You have a magically-reinforced hairbrush?' asked Rom interestedly. 'Is your hair that bad?'

Hermione now turned around to face Ron. Her cheeks had turned a light shade of pink. 'Yes, Ronald, and at least my hair looks decent in the morning, which is more than I can say for you.' Ron looked quite taken aback at Hermione's comeback, and didn't say anymore.

Now ignoring Ron, Hermione turned back to Harry.

'If my hairbrush doesn't work, then there's only one other thing that I think will…' said Hermione, staring at the broken hairbrush in her hand. Not looking at Harry, Hermione carried on, 'but I don't think you'll like it Harry. I don't think you'll like it at all…'

OK, so there you go. There's the first chapter. Please review (cause the button is just there, at the bottom left of these words).

Just have to say (again) that this whole idea was my friend's, so DR Neff, I hope you like it!

For those of you who are interested, I have actually started on the second chapter!  Believe it or not, I do know where this story is going, cause I have a storyline! (for once)

Even though I have the next chapter on my computer, I mightn't put it up for a while. Depends on the reviews, I suppose….

(that's your cue to review, in case you didn't pick that up)

Fishy-Bubbles


	2. The Joys of Waxing

You need to review. Please, I so seriously need to know.

But then again, I'm only writing this for a laugh. All I can ask is that you enjoyed it too.

Guess I'll have to do a disclaimer, even though it is kinda obvious. Anywho…

**Disclaimer **– Oh, c'mon! You really think that J. K. Rowling would let her favourite/popular/most loved character even have any chance of contracting anything remotely like a mullet?????? (and an Unbrushable one at that!!) _I think not. _

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'What is it you want to do, Hermione?' asked Harry, suddenly interested and apprehensive at the same time. It couldn't be good if even Hermione was nervous at the prospect…

Sighing, Hermione looked Harry straight in the eye. 'I think that I may have to wax your head.'

Instantly, Ron roared laughing and Harry started to splutter. 'What - you think – isn't that – I mean, no – Hermione, no, I don't think so!'

'Harry, do you want to get rid of this mullet, or not?' asked Hermione seriously. 'I really do think that this is the only way. Nothing else works. Remember my hairbrush…'

Looking for support, Harry turned to Ron.

'What do you think, Ron, should I do it?' asked Harry, his eyes pleading for Ron to back him up. _Something _else had to work. There was no way Harry would consent to baldness without good reason.

'Mate, I think that maybe you should give it a go,' answered Ron cautiously. 'You know, Hermione's tried everything else.' Seeing Harry's stricken expression, Ron said hastily, 'I mean, it might not even work. It's just a bit of hair removal.' Saying this, Ron burst out into another fit of laughter.

'It might be funny for you,' muttered Harry. 'If it wasn't for your wand…'

'Hey, I didn't even touch my wand, Harry! I had nothing to do with this, mate.' said Ron, holding up his hands. 'Don't blame me for this.'

Hermione entered the conversation. 'But why did you leave it on the ground, Ron? Why didn't you keep it in your pocket, or something?'

'There aren't any pockets on wizard dress robes,' replied Ron, quite pointedly.

Both Ron and Hermione didn't miss Harry's muttered suggestion as to where Ron could stick his wand. Ron turned a scarlet colour.

'Harry!' said Hermione reproachfully.

Harry glared at the pair of them. 'Look, if you're going to wax my head, let's just get on with it, shall we?'

Nodding, Hermione turned to leave the room. 'I'll be back in 20 minutes,' she said, disappearing from the doorway.

25 minutes later, Hermione backed into the boy's dormitories. In her hands she was carrying a pot which was filled with what looked like hot honey, a wooden spatula, talcum powder and what Hermione called 'waxing strips.' Over her arm was a snowy towel.

Placing the towel over Harry's shoulders to protect his clothing from the hot wax syrup, Hermione pulled out a pair of small scissors from her robes pocket.

'I thought that I might have a go at cutting the longer bits, you know, at the bottom, before I started. The shorter your hair is, the easier this is going to be,' said Hermione, an air of professionalism showing in her voice.

'I take it you've done this before, Hermione?'

Hermione turned a slight pink, 'Of course I have! I _am _a girl, in case you hadn't noticed!'

She attempted to cut the bottom half of Harry's mullet with the silver scissors. However, a burning smell soon reached Harry, Hermione and Ron's noses – the metal was melting from the contact with Harry's hair.

'Oh, well,' said Hermione, sighing. 'I suppose it was worth a try.'

Propping herself up properly onto her knees so that her arms were level with Harry's head, Hermione turned to Ron. 'What are you doing Ron?'

Unnoticed by either Harry or Hermione, Ron had been rummaging around in his suitcase looking for something. Puffing, Ron carefully extracted something from the depths of his case.

'I was trying to – find – this,' he said, holding a battered-looking camera in his hand. Now grinning to himself, he said 'You don't honestly think that I wouldn't pass up this perfect opportunity, did you?'

'Oh, Ron, how can you be so insensitive?' cried Hermione, the corners of her mouth twitching once again.

Harry, however, was laughing along with Ron. 'You can't be serious!?'

'Actually, I am,' admitted Ron, quickly clicking the camera before Harry would change his mind. 'I'm sure that there's lots of people out there who've never had the privilege of seeing Harry Potter and His Mullet.'

'No, Ron,' said Hermione, exasperated at the pair of them, 'it's Harry Potter and the Unbrushable Mullet!'

'Very funny,' muttered Harry.

'Yes, Harry, it is!' grinned Ron, 'Don't you see? You do have an Unbrushable Mullet, 'cause you can't brush it! Brilliant!' He punched the air with his camera-bound hand.

Harry looked blankly at Ron. Whatever logic Ron had, neither Hermione or Harry shared it.

'Oh c'mon, Harry, Hermione!' said Ron incredulously. 'Even Hermione's magically re-enforced hair-brush didn't work, did it? So that makes it Unbrushable,' said Ron. 'And it's a mullet,' he added, looking thoughtful.

Rolling her eyes, Hermione turned back to Harry and her pot of sticky wax.

'Ok, are we going to do this or not?'

Harry had barely nodded before he felt something hot and unpleasantly thick smeared on the top of his head. He could feel it seeping through his hair onto his scalp. It moved gluggily, like primary-school poster glue does.

Trying not to show his discomfort or distaste, Harry asked Hermione, 'How long is this going to take?'

'Not long; hopefully,' said Hermione distractedly. She had already whisked out a powdered 'waxing strip', and seemed to be debating as to which way she should stick it to Harry's head.

'Mmmmmm, I think this would be best,' she said absently and plastered the strip to the top of Harry's forehead.

Hermione smoothed the strip down, and before Harry knew what had happened, she had ripped it off in the opposite direction to her smoothing.

'AAARRRGGG!!!' yelled Harry. He was ready to breathe fire down Hermione's neck. 'What the hell did you just do?' he asked furiously.

'Waxing,' she answered calmly.

Harry still looked livid, and Ron still looked gleeful as she took various pictures out of Harry's reach.

So that was how the night proceeded; with Hermione reassuring Harry of waxing, Harry looking resigned and grumpy and Ron prancing around the pair of them taking 'happy snaps', having the time of his life.

Little did any of them know that Harry's Unbrushable Mullet would grow back to haunt them, extremely soon.

That next morning, Harry woke in his four-poster bed as usual. He put on his glasses, which were on his bedside table, as usual, and hunted around under his bed for his slippers, as usual. He also stuck his wand in the waistband of his pajamas bottoms, as per usual.

But when Harry looked in the mirror, as usual every morning, what he saw was not the usual tousled Harry-just-got-out-of-bed look. What he saw was very unusual, and not at all what he had expected.

The first word that echoed through Gryffindor Tower that morning was very simple. It sounded as if it had come from the boy's dormitories, but one couldn't be sure as to who had screamed it out. However, many people later said that it sounded rather like Harry Potter….

'HERMIONE!'


	3. A fear of razors

'OK, so maybe waxing wasn't so good an idea…' Hermione trailed off disappointed. 'But even I expected it to last for more than one night!' she looked indignant at the fact that her knowledge had failed her.

'Well, I still think that it's bloody hilarious!' laughed Ron.

'Yes, well, you would,' replied Hermione darkly.

'Is there anything else you can try?' asked Harry cautiously.

The three of them were sitting in the boy's dormitories on Harry's four-poster bed. As it was Saturday late morning, there wasn't anyone else in the room except them. Seamus, Dean and Neville had fled pretty quickly once they had seen Harry's re-grown mullet. It seemed to have that affect on people – after a while you didn't want to be anywhere near it.

'Yes, there is, as a matter of fact,' said Hermione, now preoccupied in her train of thought. 'There's still a few things that we haven't tried…'

Ron and Harry allowed her a few seconds of contemplation before breaking in.

'So what do you suggest we try?'

Hermione looked up at the pair of them. She seemed to have forgotten that they were even in the same room as she was.

'The most simple and in-expensive method that I can think of would be to pluck or shave his hair,' she answered, eyeing off Harry's hair as she said so. 'There are other options, but I have neither the equipment, time nor expertise to try them.'

Ron goggled at her. 'Do you mean to say that you don't know what it is you need to know to do those other unknown thingies?'

Both Harry and Hermione turned to stare at Ron. 'I'm going to pretend that you didn't just ask me such a confusing question, Ronald,' replied Hermione, 'and continue on with what I was saying.'

Ron looked at her and said, 'whatever.'

'Mmmm…' said Hermione, uncommunicatively. She turned back to Harry. 'As I was saying, plucking or shaving might be best to try next. A bonus is that I have everything I need in my dormitory. I'll be back in a minute…'

Hermione entered the room carrying the necessary equipment. To any female, it would have seemed normal to be holding a lethal looking razor and menacingly shiny tweezers. But to both Ron and Harry, Hermione's gear looked positively terrifying.

'Uh, are you sure that you're _qualified_ to use that stuff?' asked Ron, eyeing the tweezers and razor with caution.

'Yes, I am. It's exactly like the waxing things – I'm used to it all. And I know that you aren't,' she said, looking pointedly at Ron's eyebrows.

'You know, if you'd like some "treatment", I'm only willing to oblige,' trailed off Hermione.

'No, thankyou!' said Ron, quickly backing away from her. 'Remember, the only reason why you even brought those things in here was to help Harry with his hair removal.'

Hermione turned instead to Harry. 'Quite right you are.'

'Hold on, where is he?'

Harry had apparently exited the room while Ron and Hermione had been talking. He was no where in sight, although the open window was a bit of a giveaway.

Ron leaned over the ledge and looked down at Harry's sheet billowing in the wind. 'Probably got scared away by those _things_,' Ron whispered dramatically. 'Poor bloke, I would have been terrified too.' He turned back to the room and all banged into Hermione's glowering face.

'What!?'

Hermione just muttered something that sounded like 'boys,' and leaned over the ledge herself.

'I suppose that we'll have to find him now. That shouldn't be too hard to do.'

Ron looked at her, 'What makes you say that?'

'Ron, he's obviously going to cause a stir with that mullet of his. Everyone will probably be screaming at him, and I bet they wouldn't be too hard to get information out of.'

'Oh, yeah,' understanding was dawning on Ron's face. 'Right…'

'C'mon, let's go. The sooner we find him, the less trauma he'll cause to inhabitants of the castle.'

**Tell me what you think. Good, bad? I had no plan that it would turn out this way, it just happened to. I promise that the shaving/plucking will come, though. It is inevitable! **

**I also have many other painful hair treatments in store for Harry….**


	4. A painful experience

'Harry! Harry! HARRY!'

Hermione and Ron were calling out Harry's name as they wandered the corridors of the castle. They knew that they were on the right track, as there were already people looking as if they had seen a ghost. They had just passed a first year, who appeared a bit shaken up by Harry's recent appearance.

'He mustn't have been here long ago…' Ron trailed off, and looked to Hermione for her view on the matter. She however, seemed to be deep in thought.

'I don't know, Ron. What's on this floor?'

Ron looked around. 'Uh, nothing, a …wall?' Hermione shook her head. 'Stairs? More fantastically crafted pieces of sandstone?' He cocked his head to the side and gazed in astonishment at her. 'That's it, isn't it? The sandstone? Does it turn you on, or something? I never knew that you were that interested in architecture, Hermione!'

'No, _Ronald,_' glared Hermione, 'this is the corridor of the Room of Requirement!'

Ron looked closer at the walls. 'Oh, yeah…. Though, you've gotta admit, these stones are quite, ah, smooth, textured and…'

'I think that that will be _enough_, thankyou Ronald.'

Ron grinned meekly at her and watched as she blushed harder than even. He helpfully pointed this out to her.

'I am _not _blushing! Stop laughing! I'm not!'

Hermione quickly turned away from him and proceeded to the stretch of wall that was the opening to the Room of Requirement. Standing at the opening, she instead thought of the problem at hand.

Ron was still laughing at her as he joined her. Chuckling at her, he slowly traced a finger down the stone with mock reverence. He then turned to Hermione and watched as her expression quickly turned from exasperation to anger. Shaking her head, she pounced on him and started to pummel his stomach and head with her bare fists. Ron yelped and tried to throw her off him, but Hermione was clinging too tightly to his robes.

They only broke their tussle when something hard collided with their two figures on the floor. Harry seemed to have appeared out of the solid wall next to them.

Harry gave a yell as he fell over the pair of them. As he picked himself up and brushed himself off, Harry started at them both.

'Do I really want to know what you were doing?'

Ron grimaced at him. 'Probably not, although it's not what you're thinking. Definitely not what you're thinking. Hold on, what are you thinking, exactly? I hope it's not what I think you're thinking, cause that is bad, and it's definitely not that…'

Harry laughed at Ron as he continued to splutter. 'OK, I won't ask. Just get up, the pair of you. You both look stupid lying on the floor there.'

Hermione picked herself up without a moment's hesitation. She smoothed out her robes and then glared at Harry.

'And what, exactly, have you been doing in there?'

'Nothing, really. Honest! I just needed some time out, what with you ripping out my hair and Ron laughing his head off watching. It just all got a bit much, you know?'

'Maybe, Harry, but now most of the castle has seen you! And I think that you might have just given some of the first year's nightmares. I doubt they'll forgot you soon.'

Harry's face fell, but he looked determined. 'OK, let's get this over and done with then. What else can we do? There's got to be something else we haven't tried.'

'Yes, there is. So are you going to come back with us so I can try something different?'

Harry just sighed and nodded his head. It was enough for Hermione, who, with the help of Ron, managed to get him back to the Gryffindor common room without anyone seeing them.

Hermione then barracked the 3 of them in the boy's dorm with her razor and tweezers from before. She seemed to contemplate which one to use, and then picked up the tweezers. 'I'll try the shaving later, if I need to. Shaving isn't permanent anyway; we should probably keep it as our last option.

'Are you ready, Harry?' she asked.

Harry was still eyeing the tweezers with obvious suspicion. 'No,' he said, 'but do it anyway,' and he closed his eyes.

And with that, a series of moans and yells could be heard from the common room. Many of the male Gryffindors tried to break into the room where the noises seemed to be coming from, but they couldn't get through, on account of the lock and charm Hermione had put on it. Soon, they gave up and waited.

And hour later, Harry emerged. His head was smooth, but had lots of small red dots where his hair had once been. Harry managed to assure the other boys that he was fine, and that the bald look was now "in". They disappeared down back to the common room, and Hermione then came out clutching her tweezers and a large amount of Harry's hair that she had plucked.

Handing the hair to Harry with, 'You can keep it if you want,' she vanished down the stairway, back the way she had come.

Ron then came out and patted Harry on the back. 'I'll never understand women and their hair removal ways. You have no idea how glad I am that I was born a male.' He then followed Hermione downstairs.

Harry was still standing shell-shocked in the corridor, clutching his hair, and wearing a disbelieving expression on his face.

It would be a while until he got over the plucking.


End file.
